


I Just Didn't Want To Know

by bodiesnotourown (Israfael)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Gen, References to Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-29
Updated: 2012-09-29
Packaged: 2017-11-15 06:18:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/524062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Israfael/pseuds/bodiesnotourown
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the true end of the world.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Just Didn't Want To Know

**Author's Note:**

> This story has implies suicide, though it is not explicitly described. The title is from the song "Blue" by A Perfect Circle

 

  
_You are worthless_  

Dean shakes his head to clear the voice.  
 ****  
 _Meaningless_

He pounds again on the heavy door, palms bloody from slamming against the rough texture. There is no response from within, just like there hasn’t been for the last fifteen minutes. Jesus why did Bobby build this fucking room so well.

_What do you think you are doing?_

He tries the lock again, knowing it’s an exercise in futility.

_You can’t stop this._

He can. He knows he can.

_You can’t save him._

He will he has to. He goes back to screaming himself hoarse, trying to see what he can through the little window in the door. He can’t even feel his hands anymore. Can’t even feel his brother trying to pull him away from the door. The fucking piece of shit door standing in his way.  
He yells again, but no one that matters right now is listening. It feels like his vocal chords are shredding under the pressure but it doesn’t matter. Nothing matters. He is never going to speak again after this anyways.

_You’re going to watch him die. You watch everyone die._

This isn’t how it is supposed to go. This isn’t right. They were supposed to have their happy ending. They’d saved the world for who even knew how many times now. It isn’t fucking fair. He looks through the window again and his every breath feels like breathing shards of glass. He can see the light shining out of slits, and lines of blood pooling on the floor, obscuring the devils trap painted there.

_This is the real end, you know._

He can’t even cry out anymore. He just whispers desperate prayers and a name again and again. He sags against the door, the willpower to keep fighting flagging. An agonized scream sends him back to his feet, forcing sound out of his shredded vocal chords. He pulls at the door again, and feels it give way. He forces his way in, quickly falling to the ground, curling in on himself to avoid the blinding light bursting out from the center. He can feel wetness on his face, and knows his ears are bleeding from the distorted screams. It goes on for what feels like an eternity and yet a few seconds. When he finally regains his senses, the room is cold and dark, spots swimming in his vision and the world sounds as if he is underwater. He lifts his head to see the bloodied and prone form on the ground and he pulls himself up to crawl towards it.

_Some good a ‘profound bound’ turned out to be._

He pulls the crumpled body into his arms and rocks. His sight is obscured by tears but through them he can see the pale skin, too pale. Eyes that were once vibrant blue, faded to a dazed grey. A wounded sound escapes his throat and he rests his forehead against the clammy forehead of the other. He chokes as he feels the soft slide of a hand on his cheek and whispered words of love and finality and he is certain he will never breathe again as it falls away. A smeared bloody handprint on his cheek to match the one burned into his shoulder. He doesn’t realize he is fervently spitting a litany of curses, endearments, and pleas until his brother softly says his name and the body in his arms has long since gone cold.

 


End file.
